The Sexy Motherpucker is a gloss crayon by Soap & Glory. I was able to get my hands on three shades. Since the formulation is so sheer, it’s a little hard to describe the shades, so I’ll go by their names: Nudist, Fuschiaristic, and Plum Jam.
These swatches aren’t very helpful either, huh?
As swatches, they don’t look like they differ very much. Just random variations of the same nude gloss. On the lips, however, there is a significant difference. At least, in my mind:
Each shade lends a different mood to the face. I think they’re actually arranged from most favorite to least. We’ll see, but I usually don’t like a lot of warmth in my lip color. Who knows why.
These are different from your usual crayon, because it’s a gloss and not a matte lip color, or a stain or a balm. If I’m not mistaken, NARS also has a gloss lip pencil, but I haven’t tried those so I can’t compare.
The Sexy Motherpucker is easy on the lips! Very comfortable to wear, really. There’s a slight tackiness due to the gloss formula, but it’s really, really subtle, similar to Le Métier de Beauté’s Sheer Brilliance Lip Gloss formula.
The only con I can think of is the smell. As you might know, I do not like it when cosmetics take a baked goods route. Turns me off so much. I’ve grown accustomed to the MAC Lipstick smell, but I am still keeping away from my Tom Ford lipstick, because it smells so strongly of vanilla. This has a similar smell, so I don’t know just how much I’ll end up using it.
Seriously, what is it with vanilla?
An awesome thing: the pencils are retractable. Hurrah for pencil sharpener haters everywhere!
These are available in random places in the UK, and I think it’s sold in some US retailers and Boots in other countries. I’m sorry if they’re a little harder to get a hold of, but if you can, grab a few of these! Definitely a fuss-free gloss experience, which is always what I’m after. 🙂
Soap & Glory’s Animal Testing Policy: “At Soap & Glory, we absolutely do not test our formulations on animals, however we can’t say that each and every ingredient that goes into them has not, at some point historically, been cleared for human use, by animal testing. We hope this answers your question. If you need any more information about animal testing, we’d suggest you contact Colipa, the European Cosmetics Directive association, via http://www.colipa.eu.”
Softly Sometimes 
I love S&G’s witty names! I am currently in love with everything pencil right now but I think I should try the NARS gloss pencils first. I swatched them at Sephora and I’m like… *sigh*
Lol I really want the NARS ones. The pigment looks insane. Sana you bought in the States nalang! The markup here is pretty substantial.
Wow these look amazing. All three shades suit you really well. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the lovely comment! 🙂
Ano ba I was just taking about S&G! I wanted Fuchsia Ristic but now I see it’s not that bright. I miss Eyeko. They had this really beautiful bright bright fuchsia lip pencil.
Try the NYX lip liners! Or NARS Yu?
I’m so inggit! I’ve been looking at this at the Sephora site! I really like Nudist.
They’re nice, but definitely not must-haves for me. 🙂
Everyone and their aunt are making these glossy crayons now 🙂 Clinique, Revlon, Bourjois, Sephora (own brand), Kiko, Catrice, etc. An the funny thing is – even the packaging comes made from the exact same mold, I’ve checked and compared 😉 In terms of formula (scent, glossiness, stains or not, shimmery or not), they differ from brand to brand, but the principle is the same.
I don’t think I’ve tried anything that was a pure gloss concept, though. The Revlon ones seem to be stains.
Yeah, they differ in the staining department, even within one brand (some shades stain more, others barely at all).
I love everything Soap & Glory. I have an entire post in my drafts on their products, to the point where it’s a little too promotional AND THEY DON’T EVEN PAY/SEND ME ANYTHING.
LOL I know right? I wish I could get them readily here, but on second thought, that might be a bad idea for my wallet.
One of the thinge I like about them is that they’re not unreasonably priced (in the UK anyway). We get the bath producte in Bahrain now, but not the makeup. Hopefully that will follow eventually.
Maybe they’re still arranging how to transport and such! Can’t be too long ’til they do. 🙂